Crossing culture

GROUP 4

1. Hoang Quynh Yen
2. Tran Thi Hong
3. Nguyen Thi Dieu Hao
4. Nguyen Thi Kim Hue
5. Nguyen Thi Hoang
6. Phan Thi Thu Dung
7. Van Thi Thuong
8. Pham Thi Kieu Tien
9.Nguyen Thi Tra My
10. Huynh Thi Uyen Phuong
11. Vo Thi Ben
RELATIONSHIPS:
FRIENDS AND ACQUAINTANCES
“Everyone`s friend is no one`s friend”.
(Italian proverb) :
You can`t be friends with everybody.
“Friends are made in wine and proven in tears”. (German proverb) :
When times get tough, your real friends will stand by you.
“When husband and wife agree ,they will be able to dry up the oceans with buckets”. (Vietnamese proverb) :
two people in love, working together, can do anything.
Friendship: “one attached to another by affection or esteem”.
Understanding
&compassion
Trust
friendship

Desiring
the best 4
Partner
Sympathy 
& empathy
Understanding
&compassion
Sympathy 
& empathy
Trust
Understanding
&compassion
Sympathy 
& empathy
friendship
Trust
Understanding
&compassion
Sympathy 
& empathy

Desiring
the best 4
Partner
friendship
Trust
Understanding
&compassion
Sympathy 
& empathy
Understanding
&compassion
Sympathy 
& empathy
Trust
Understanding
&compassion
Sympathy 
& empathy
friendship
Trust
Understanding
&compassion
Sympathy 
& empathy

Desiring
the best 4
Partner
friendship
Trust
Understanding
&compassion

In US, friend might be an acquaintance or an intimate companion that one has known since childhood.

Acquaintance is frequency of interaction.
TYPES OF FRIENDSHIPS IN US (NEW YORK TIMES)
Americans are thought to be suffering a loss in the quality and quantity of close friendships since at least 1985 (American Sociological Review ).

The study states 25% of Americans have no close confidants, and the average total number of confidants per citizen has dropped from 4 to 2.
Reasons: the shortage of time & numerous commitment to family, work…


Thus, Americans have casual, friendly relationships with many people, but closer friendships with only a few.
Friendship versus friendliness



Friendliness


Friendliness: behavior characterized by smiling, chattiness and warmth that demonstrates interest in another person
Friendliness in the USA:
Smile
Talk easily

DIVERSITY IN PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
College students relationships
COLLEAGUES RELATIONSHIPS
TEENAGERS RELATIONSHIPS
COUPLES RELATIONSHIPS
OLD PEOPLE RELATIONSHIPS
COUPLES AND TEENAGERS RELATIONSHIPS
COUPLES RELATIONSHIPS
COHABITATION
THE FACTS:

Nearly 12 million Americans living with an unmarried different- sex partner, 1.2 million Americans living with a same-sex partner, 11% of unmarried partners are same-sex couples.
41% of American women ages 15-44 have cohabited.
In 2001, in the United States 8.2% of couples were calculated to be cohabiting, majority of them were in the West Coast and Northeastern United areas.
In 2005, the U.S. Census Bureau reported 4.85 million cohabiting couples, up more than ten times from 1960, when there were 439,000 such couples.

REASONS FOR COHABITATION
Testing compatibility or establishing financial security before marrying.
Cohabiting couples do not have to seek legal or religious permission to form or dissolve their union.
Many cohabit to share living expenses, to avoid loneliness or in response to social pressure to find a mate.
Cohabitation is an attempt to avoid the painful experiences of being raised in a broken home.
Cohabiting young people feel they have greater choice, more time to choose a partner and less of a need to make a full commitment.
RESULTS OF COHABITATION
Depression among cohabiting couples is triple the rate of married couples. They are less happy and less sexually satisfied due.
Cohabiting women are more likely than married women to suffer physical and sexual abuse.
Cohabitation brings increased conflict and aggression as well as increased chance of divorce in later marriages.
Cohabiting couples have lower relationship quality, lower stability, and a higher level of disagreements.
Overall rates of violence among cohabiters were double that of marriage.
ARE COHABITING COUPLES HAPPIER THAN MARRIED ONES?
MARRIAGE
Same-sex relationships
Same-sex marriages are currently granted by five of the 50 states, one federal district, and one Indian tribe in America:
_ In Connecticut, Iowa, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Vermont, and Washington, D.C., marriages for same-sex couples are legal and currently performed.
_ The Coquille Indian tribe in Oregon also grants same-sex marriage.
In New York, Rhode Island, and Maryland, same-sex marriages are recognized, but not performed.
REMARRIAGE
Remarriage rates in the United States increased during the 1960s, declined precipitously across the 1970s, and have continued to decline throughout the 1980s and 1990s.
Contemporary remarriages are more likely to follow divorce
Many Americans have remarried at least once (U.S. Census Bureau, 2007):
_ 12% of men have married twice
_ 13% of women have married twice
_ 3% of Americans have married three or more times
Of all divorced people aged 25 and over, 55% of men and 44% of women have remarried
The remarriage rate for women ages 45 to 64 is half the rate for similarly aged men.
Teenagers relationships
TEENS WITH ONLINE AND OFLINE FRIENDS
Most teens use the Internet to interact with people they already know rather than strangers.
Teens have numerous face-to-face friends and those they communicate with via social networking and instant messaging.
44% teens using social networking sites such as MySpace, Twitter or Facebook has no effect on their relationship with their friends and 43% says it make them closer.
TEENS WITH ADULTS
Only 19 percent of 15-year-olds in the United States have positive, sustained and meaningful relationships with adults.
More than 1/3 of 15-year-olds surveyed did not score high on any of the strengths including spark, voice and relationships.
Only 7 percent experience high levels of all three strengths including spark, voice and relationships.

TEENS WITH LOVE
The “Singles Scene”
These statistics for the 2009 American singles scene:
100 million adults in the US are currently single. 
(Source: US Census Bureau)
The majority of US households are now headed by an unmarried person. 
(Source: US Census Bureau)
Single people make up 44% of the US workforce.  (Source: Bureau of Labor Statistics)
Singles account for 36% of voters in the US. 
(Source: US Census Bureau)

The majority of single women are homeowners. Single women are 22% of new home buyers compared to 9% of single men. 
(Source: National Association of Realtors)
The “Singles Scene”
* Recently, there has been a dramatic rise in the number of single people in the US
* Due to:
- the large number of “baby boomers”
people delaying marriage until their late twenties
many women now have a higher educational & economic status than before
The “Singles Scene”
The value Americans place on individualism, so many Americans do not want to feel that they have to conform to societal expectations
such as getting married at a particular age,…

How do singles meet each other in the US?
Mutual friends, parties, work, religious groups, & various dating services.
The “bar scene”
Social networks: family, friends, & even acquaintances
An escalation in the number of dating services. However, they charge a fee, and some can be quite exorbitant
MOBILITY AND FRIENDSHIP
Americans:
Geographically, mobile

Learn to develop friendship easily and quickly
Real statistics
Annually, 1 out of every 5 American families move
The average American family moves every five years => 16 times throughout the average lifetime.
37.1 million people moved in 2009 (the U.S. Census Bureau )
Further reference: (Annual Mobility)


Other highlights

In 2008,20.9% unemployed pp lived in a different residence vs. 12.5% who were employed


23.6% pp with incomes < 100% the poverty line moved within 2008 vs. 17.5% pp with incomes b/w 100 and 149% the poverty line.
About 17 million movers (45.9%) said they wanted to own a home or live in a better neighborhood

Family concerns (26.3%), employment needs (17.9%) and other (9.8%).

The black population had the highest mover rate (16.7%) -> Hispanics (15.8%) -> Asian (13.8%) -> white (10.7%).

Reference:

REASONS
Video
Statistic reference: (reasons)
CIRCLE OF FRIENDS
is a place where to make friend such as: office friend, school, neighborhood, church…

People usually have more casual friends than close or best friends.

=> Learning to make friends quickly becomes a necessary survival skill.
CROSS- CULTURAL FRIENDSHIPS
One of the most frequent problems
Foreigners misinterpret American friendliness as an offer of friendship.

The foreigner in the United States can become disappointed.

Some cases , Americans can be shy in interactions with foreigners.

Some Americans want to go beyond a superficial friendship
But :
It depend on whether they have the time to make the commitment.
It takes time and effort to build a friendship.
Discussing Questions

How is cross-cultural friendship different from mono-cultural friendship?

What knowledge and skills are essential in order to develop healthy cross-cultural friendship?


The Western attitude which says ; ‘’ I’ll be your friend until someone more interesting come along’’
CROSS-CULTURAL EXPECTATIONS FOR FRIENDSHIP.
Equality, Loyalty, and Respect build friendship.
Friends are equal.

Friends are loyal and trustworthy.

Friends need respect each other.
Expectations for personal relationships differ greatly across cultures.
A friend needs privacy to “work out” a problem.
In any true friendship, a person is expected to show interest and concern in a friend’s serious problems.
Different expectations in what people believe they should do for each other.


Discussion Question
An American is a close friend of a Russian immigrant. The person from Russia asked American to co-sign a loan, in other words, the American’s signature would indicate a willingness to pay back a loan to a bank if the Russian immigrant was not able to do so.
In this case, if you were that American what would you do? Why?
Have you ever had an experience with an American or someone else from another culture where each of you had different expectations of the friendship?
BENEFITS OF CROSS-CULTURAL CONTACT
Break down isolation and stereotypes
To understand the deep culture in which they live
The opportunity for language practice

Without the experience of encountering people, it is difficult to learn to become comfortable in the second language.

Requires more time and effort

BENEFITS TO SOCIALIZING
People from the same culture
Culture shock can be lessened






Can truly relax and be themselves

BENEFITS TO SOCIALIZING
People from the second culture

Have the additional cross-cultural contact

Assist in acculturation and integration into the new society
True friendship: shared experiences, values, and interests.